Where Boredom Happens

It is one of my favorite times of the year. You know school is about to be over and a new champion is about to be crowned. That's right the NBA Playoffs are upon us, but thus far it has been amazingly uninteresting. Thankfully one of the greatest athletes and people not named Arnold is still involved, no matter how small that role may be. I am talking of course about the Big Aristotle AKA Shaquille O'Neal. With O'Neal's best playing days behind him, we now have a chance to reflect on his marvelous rap career.

He is leaps and bounds better than any other athlete/rapper with maybe only Cedric Ceballos coming in at a distant second. For all of you who are saying, "Hey didn't Kobe Bryant and Tony Parker make rap songs too?" Unfortunately they did, but both those songs would be better suited to be on repeat at every cell in Guantanamo Bay. Either song would be a far better torture method than simulated drowning. Put it this way, if you played the songs back to back, you just drowned the person in audio phecies for 8:43.

People forget that Shaq's first record, Shaq Diesel, went platinum. While record sales have lost some significance in today's hip hop landscape, Shaq did work with some heavy weights in the game. Here are three of my favorite cuts from the Big Cactus
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While I like the opening clip more than the actual song, it does feature one of the most slept on west coast lyircists, W.C. And if Nate Dogg is singing the hook, it must be a hit.
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Shaq did this one all by himself. You can't help but love the video. The opening has shades of some of the shittier Batman movies with Val Kilmer. If that's not enough it also has Apache Helicopters, fighter jets, and fucking ninjas. Take that Hype Williams.
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This was an easy choice. Shaq + RZA + Method Man = fucking genius.

Just a closing thought